International Men’s Day
While scrolling through social media feeds earlier, I discovered that today (November 19) is “International Men’s Day.” A quick check of the website indicates that the creation of International Men’s Day was intended to convey a positive message of the importance of men and particularly fathers in the well being of children and families and thus, society at large. The objectives of IMD are noble and in a rational world would be celebrated unequivocally as a masculine presence that teaches, guides, and sets boundaries. Men acting in this manner in conjunction with moms and their feminine presence in a nuclear family are the backbone of functioning civilization. While I was unaware of this particular movement until today, many of the underlying principles are what inspired me to start this website as my initial blog post indicated.
Not everyone shares this perspective, as in the same search result for IMD itself is an article titled “The Celebration of International Men’s Day is actually extremely problematic” from Marie Claire magazine. The author of that article selectively cites a few social media posts from low follower count trolls as evidence that men generally hate women and that as the “privileged sex,” men should not have their own day as it creates a rivalry with International Women’s Day, which occurs in March. The author even uses the catch all phrase “toxic masculinity” to minimize the need to recognize men. The author goes on to make the unsubstantiated claim that while International Women’s Day is a celebration of women, IMD is used to ‘keep women in their place.’ To paint with such a broad brush blatantly ignores the stated premise of IMD on the front page of its website, which is to is to ‘improve gender relations and promote gender equality not only for men but for women too.’
I am not denying that there are toxic men out there but strong, authentically masculine men should absolutely be encouraged to keep men like that in check. Any real man worth his salt would defend the women in his life, not because they are weak but because they are important. I have been married for 27 years and live with 2 more girls, a teenager and a pre-teen. There is no doubt who runs my house and it ain’t me 😂. But I do know this I–and many millions like me–would go to my death defending them and fighting to keep them safe in this world. Maybe that doesn’t make us worthy of celebration but it also does not merit trashing men as toxic either.
There are very real issues where men are disproportionately affected.
Men account for:
76% of all suicides
85% of homelessness
70% of homicide victims
92% of workplace deaths
67% of drug overdose deaths
At a minimum, recognition of an International Men’s Day should bring statistics like this to the top of everyone’s mind so that we can face the fact that there are serious problems, many of which start in childhood, that must be addressed. The way to do that is not by treating all interactions as a zero sum game where any advocacy for boys and men is viewed as “anti-woman.” That thought process immediately shuts down any productive dialogue but is unfortunately all too common in today’s divided world.
Stemming the tide starts first with turning to Jesus and applying Biblical principles to our own lives specifically as it relates to raising children. Ephesians 6:4 says “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” It is our job as dads to train up our children morally to know right from wrong and have the confidence to apply those principles in the real world. We must be present and actively involved as we have seen the damage that can be done to children, especially boys, with absent or disengaged fathers. A strong fatherly presence that teaches valuing oneself and a healthy respect for the opposite sex is priceless in the life of a child. Let me know the ways you connect with your kids in the comments below.